


Fake your Happiness Until You Fall Apart

by Star_fighter111



Series: Late South Park One Shots [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, High School, M/M, No Smut, One Shot, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Tags May Change, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-04 20:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15848442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_fighter111/pseuds/Star_fighter111
Summary: Stan suddenly feels sick but not sick, sick.  The sickness when you find no more joy or sadness.  Since you don't feel anything you start feeling sad and you don't want to be sad but you sink further into sadness, it's too late for you to get back out of it.





	Fake your Happiness Until You Fall Apart

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort've a vent fic. Is that what you call them? I don't know, but it's Stan dealing with depression and so if this triggers you somehow, please step away from this fic.
> 
>  
> 
> I can take request on a prompt and or a ship it might take a while to make a prompt so it’s better if you just give me a ship and a prompt. I’m not pressuring anyone into though.

Stan was in elementary grade when he suddenly felt, sick.  Not the sick you think, the emotional sick.  He didn't find joy in anything nor did he find the sadness or anger in anything.  Feeling nothing is shit.  It's the worse, soon he started feeling sad for not feeling anything.  Stan didn't like feeling sad and it made him sadder.  Soon, he felt as though he fell off a cliff can't back up. 

 

_____________

Time skip to High School

_____________

 

 

Stan looked at the ground.  He was waiting at the bus stop with Kenny.   They weren't talking as they both silently agreed to not talk without saying anything.  Soon they heard, "Hey, what's up guys?  Guess what I got that you don't?"  Kenny asked as Stan couldn't give a fuck, "I got... a chocolate bar.  It's not just any random chocolate bar, it's from somewhere in Europe.  I bet your poor ass can't get it, Kenny."  Kenny defended, "Shut the fuck up fatass."  Cartman yelled, "Ay, I'm not fat, I'm big boned."  Kyle came and asked Kenny or Stan, "What is Cartman saying?"  Cartman interjected not letting anyone say anything, "I'm saying I got chocolate from Europe.  I bet you don't have it."  Kyle responded, "Like you need any more chocolate.  You're already fat."  Cartman grew angrier, "I'm not fat."  Kyle looked at Stan, "Dude, are you okay?"  Stan looked up from the ground, "Huh, oh, yeah, I'm cool."  Kyle nodded not really pushing on the topic especially when Cartman was there.  The bus came and picked them all up.

 

____________ 

 

  
  
It was class and Stan listened and wrote quietly.  None of his friends were in this classroom.  He lazily looked up and the bell rang.  He continued sitting there looking helplessly at his desk and the papers on it.  He heard a gentle voice, "Dude, what's up?  You've been looking at your desk for over a minute after the bell.  Is something wrong?  In fact, you have been out of it for a long time."  Stan looked up, Kyle saw the dark circles on Stans' eyes. Stan shook his head, "No, I'm fine.  Let's get lunch, I'm hungry."  That was a lie, he binged eat at breakfast.  

 

___________

 

 

At lunch, Cartman was saying, "Kenny, Kenny, that's my chocolate, gimme."  Kenny shook his head and Stan interjected, "You can have my lunch, the chocolate is probably a fake anyway."  Kenny nodded and through the chocolate bar on the ground far away.  Stan gave Kenny a sandwich and a granola bar.  Cartman came back from retrieving his chocolate bar and asked, "What the hell, Kenny?  And Stan, yesterday you were eating a lot.  Don't want to be fat."  Kyle yelled, "Like you're one to talk."  Cartman screamed, "Shut up, Jew."  Stan laid on his arms.  

 

___________

 

 

At the end of the day, Stan walked outside with his hands in his pockets.  Cold biting his face as soon as he came out.  He looked in front and went home.  

When he opened the door, he sees his sister smoking some sort of drug with her friends.  It seems like Shelly forgot about him as she always ignores him and whenever someone mentions his name, she'd reply with, "Who?"  Stan doesn't blame her, she's too high on whatever that is.   Stan went to his room and laid on his bed face down on his pillow.  The last thing he heard was, "Who?"

 

___________

 

 

'Beep Beep Beep'

Stan opened his eyes to hear his phone buzzing.  He answered the call and asked, "Hello, what is it?"  Kyle asked, "Yeah, Stan, well, you see, umm."  Stan waited patiently, "Um, it's my brother, Ike, he's missing.  I need to find him and can you help?"  Stan looked outside and agreed, "Yeah, of course."  It was dark as he noted and took a flashlight.  He ran outside seeing Kyle's worried eyes.  "Oh thank you, Stan."  Stan nodded as they started looking for Ike.

 

___________

 

 

"You've been fairly quiet these days, Stan."  Stan looked at Kyle and shrugged.  Kyle looked at Stans dull eyes.  Kyle continued, "You don't have to tell me right now, but I want you to know I'm here, okay?"  Stan looked at Kyle's green eyes with stars in them.  The stars must have reflected in them.  Stan hesitated before slowly wrapping his arms around Kyle. 

 

___________

 

 

Kyle and Stan found Ike at Starks pond.  Ike said in his defence, "I needed to clear my thoughts."  Kyle understood but warned him with, "You had me worried, tell me if you do this again."  Stan quietly left and went to his house.  

When he went to his bed he fell asleep as soon as he hit the pillow.

 

___________

 

 

Stan woke and went to the main floor.  He didn't feel like eating and didn't pack a lunch.  He walked to the bus stop to meet Kenny, Cartman and Kyle.  Cartman was saying something about his weight.  Stan didn't say anything and stayed looking on the floor.  He was so out of it, he didn't notice the worried stares he got from Kyle.  Stan started concentrating on the ants that went by his feet.  Something to keep him distracted and yet, he kept going through the same thought, over and over again.

 

___________

 

 

It was class and Stan focused so much on the class.  Trying to improve on it, to be perfect.  He didn't feel Kyle's stares at all.  Suddenly, everything was weird.  He couldn't focus at all.  He wanted to cry.  Something was wrong.  He knew it.  What felt like an eternity, the bell rang and he ran to the washroom.

 

___________

 

Stan didn't know what happened.  He was crying in the bathroom in a stall.  He had a hand over his mouth as he tried not to make any sound.  He didn't know someone else was in the washroom until he heard a loud, "Stan?  I know you're in here, come out."  Stans' eyes widened and put his feet up.  His heartbeat was fast and wondered if Kyle could hear it.  He heard a bang.  It was Kyle kicking every stall open.  He's going to find him.  Bang, bang, bang, bang- "Stan?"  The crying boy closed his eyes.  "Stan, what are you doing?"  Stan looked up and shrugged.  Kyle asked, "Come here, please."  Stan obeyed not wanting to argue.  As soon as Stan was in grasping reach, Kyle grabbed Stan and pulled up his sleeves.  Kyle saw nothing but flesh and sighed feeling relieved.  He then made Stan take off his coat and saw nothing but flesh.  

Stan questioned, "What are you doing?"  Kyle didn't answer right away and pulled Stan into a hug.  Kyle then said worriedly, "Stan, why are you crying?"  Stan shrugged and kept hugging him.  "Please tell me if I can do anything to help."

 

___________

 

 

It was night when Stan received a call, "Hey Kyle."  Kyle asked, "Can I come over?"  Stan replied quickly, "Yeah, of course."  

Stan heard the doorbell ring and he opened the door.  Kyle came inside and asked, "Let us have a sleepover, it's already night."  Stan nodded and they went to his room.  Kyle didn't bring anything so he was wearing Stans pyjamas.  Stan forced the question out of his mouth, "Why did you ask to stay over?"  Kyle sighed and sat on Stans' bed.  Kyle answered truthfully, "When I saw you in the washroom.  I was scared of what you might do.  I came here and well here I am."  Stan asked another question, "You were worried about me?"  Kyle nodded and questioned, "It's getting late, I should sleep on the couch."  Kyle got up but Stan grabbed his hand, "You can sleep here.  I don't mind unless you do then..."  Kyle shushed him and said smoothly, "I don't mind, I can sleep here."  Kyle got in the bed and hugged Stan while falling asleep.  

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> As I said this is a vent fic. Based the depression off of mine on how I eat too much and the next day I hardly eat or the not feeling anything and then sadness. Yep, I'm super tired though. I want to go to sleep. I can hardly type one word without making a mistake. I took like, two days working on this so I hope you liked the fic.
> 
> I’m repeating I can take request on a prompt and or a ship it might take a while to make a prompt so it’s better if you just give me a ship and a prompt. I’m not pressuring anyone into though.


End file.
